These poems are written in the form of Bhakti Poems in the ancient romantic Indian tradition. The 17th Century Metaphysical Poet, Meera Bai who is also well known to many in the West, wrote ardent poems addressed to Lord Krishna. The identification with her God merged with her own self until there was no differentiation between her and Krishna.

I am also exploring the Jungian relationship between the animus and the anima in these poems as until we relate to our other half, male or female we stay divided and split. The purpose of our life's journey is towards integration and towards an internal marriage. This marriage can best be achieved if we develop love and compassion for ourselves first before we relate to others and share with them our unconditional love. My Shantanu poems are the first steps towards that journey. Finally, Shantanu is that part of my animus - male self - that is always calm and equanimous. Hence the title - Shant prefix meaning (calm and peaceful - Sanskrit), and Anu (the smallest atom that cannot be divided any further - Sanskrit). The two syllables marry to create this perfect balance that is prerequisite for harmony, peace and fulfillment.

The anthology has 72 poems and six of these will appear every month.

Kanta Walker January 2006.

Lord of love
my honey-sweet
summer's dream,
my one and only
true eternal lover,
you are my hope
my continuity.

The woods were
dark and damp today
shadowy mists
enveloped the
dancing maidens -
their silver bodies
wrapped in milky day moon light.

Water dripped
bathing gently, eternally
the moss covered stones.
I walked on
and saw a thin
stream of water
being given birth to
by the brackeney hillside.

In such haste was she
the new born river
not yet ready to run
yet tumbled over
a dark much polished, shiny
granite slab - dispersed,
spread itself thinly
all over losing its that.

A little further on
the water so malleable
cut a path, made a groove
in a corner - now a stone
cradled the infant stream water!
Tenacity pays off
I thought - my lord
you are born out of
a strong willed, searching
tenacious heart -
my chant, my mantra!

So lost was I in
my own thoughts -
my new discovery
that I walked on, missing
the narrow footpath
nearly touching he edge
of Skeine Loch
fell in soaking my boots
and a dripping wet behind!

Bitter cold winds
cut through my coat
calmer waters
blended with the skies
all is now still, chill grey
wet winter day
yet there is fire and
warmth I carry within.

I walk and I walk
with a song in my soul
In my mind's eye
I paint the sky
dawn pink and cloudless
with the hint of a sunrise
in the east, I walk some more
you walk beside me
in your company
nothing is impossible.

Winter snows, chill winds,
wet bottoms, soaking shoes
even the whipping down icy rain
I embrace them all and
transform them into
life enhancing, warming
golden summer sun -
you are the only Sun
for me, my transcendent lover
transformer of all suffering
into eternal joy!

Lord of love
light of my life,
today I hold the hand
of an old frail man
and kiss it!
His eyes are tearful
he is fearful
waiting for death
the dreaded certain end!

Sitting in his antiseptic
Hospital bed he says:
"This time I have been
reprieved, next time I
may not be so lucky!"

Next time
the light may go out
pools of his grey green eyes
will have no spark,
his transparent ears
with tufts of hair - owl like,
his purple veined cheeks
like the map of Wales,
his knotted, gnarled hands
will all become inert,
still as a statue, icy, cold, lifeless.

I encourage him
tell him to go on living,
loving and enjoying life.
" Seek help as soon as
you feel unwell, as soon as
the symptoms appear,
call the doctor."

But death, my compassionate love
is never curable and it is
our destiny we will all go.
I know this certainty
my love, as I too
race towards the end of my time.
Joy fills my heart
I write a love song for Yama
and welcome his approach,
fearless in my faith
and love of you - my honoured love!

Lord of love
my light, my life
Ruler of my heart -
beyonder than the beyond
further than the farthest
I searched high and low
circled and combed the Universe.

I looked for love in corners
places which were
bereft, bare and empty
I irrigated barren lands
with love and planted flowers
they were all unseen my love
un-cherished their beauty dimmed.

I came to know that
often it is difficult to
resuscitate the dead
but old habits die hard
in dark mid winter
night of my soul
unreality is perceived
as real and much effort I spent
in converting a mere light bulb
into the all sustaining sun.

With painful experience
I know that quiet moments
are precious they are
to be savoured in your
blissful, beautiful company.
Solitude sings to me
songs of your sweet presence!
You breathe life
into this old fish
and turn fool's gold
into my precious ingots.
Since you are with me
my eternal love
no mortal being
can ever match your giving!

So blessed are you, my love
that moon beams bathed
your face last night.
My glorious Heart,
you my loving Knight
my self, my pulse
the beat of my heart
authentic heir
to my mortal throne.

I welcome you in my heart
daily, I cradle you and sing to you
and find new ways to worship you
on each new day you are
the emperor of my soul
my enchantment
my sacred lover
my Golden Magician.

Lord of love
light of my life
I make music and dance
for you!

Sometimes when the external
oppression is magnified
in meaningless words
and I am so aware of time
and my life ebbing away
I call on you
to comfort me!

It is midwinter in my soul
it is cold within
and frozen without
the spirit of my dead father
calls at this hour guided
by the full moon
it holds me at the dead of night.

All is stillness
in the muffled moonbeams
time is suspended
for a moment.
Charcoal grey
skeletal trees keep watch
poised like sentinels
no one stirs.

Your words of wisdom
are conveyed
without language
without sound -
there is life in death
and death in life
have nothing to fear
my daughter
when I an your eternal lover
Shantanu is with you
your solitude is turned
into precious bliss.

Dawn approaches
a golden light
kisses the garden
all is made
whole again
the eternal lover
in company with
the blessed father reign.

Lord of love
my subtle body
mind spirit,
how often you pick me up
when I plummet down
like a fledgling fallen
from a sky high nest!

You pick me up gently
and rock me like a babe
restore myself to me
heal me, make me, mend me,
and give me new energy.

You bring me to the present
when I dwell on past pain
preoccupied with real or
imagined injustices, wrongs
and when I am stuck
truly see no way forward!

When I am weary
of endless labouring
buried in increasing paper work
and bureaucracy
wasting my life
wasting my time
no time for creativity
earning my living
in a harsh regime.

My limbs ache daily
when I sit still in
seemingly useless meetings
to work out procedures
for measuring unproductive
productivity -
I see my life slip fast.

My lower back aches
my left leg swells up
I cannot walk
you give me warmth
your special healing heat
makes me better.

When bureaucracy
of my livelihood
feeds on my life
you give me patience
and compassion
you teach me generosity
and love
you tell me to overlook
the insensitive who hurt
and take pleasure in
other people's pain.

The candle of my life
is dimly lit and burning fast
"live in the present,"
you tell me
"gather joy in each
living moment
be tolerant
love your environment
and all sentient life."

You are my eternal happiness
my love, I am blessed indeed
to be your wife
for the rest of this
brief life!

My darling love
my tender one
each day is
a new discovery,
each ending of
the day a treasure,
each night fall
a reminder of
the comfort and closeness
you bring.

In this deserted mansion
live many ghosts
from the past
I hear their footsteps
I hear their conversations
but with you beside me
I have the courage
to give them freedom
to freely wander and roam
in echoing empty rooms
and whispering halls.

Your wisdom has no ending
your love is unconditional
my blessed one - the more
you give the more I need.
You tell me with such certainty
to be patient, to be still and
let moments flow and move on
when the time comes
I will too, there is no hurry.

My tender love, my nurturer
your charm and tact keep me
comforted, alive and warm,
keep me safe, keep me equanimous.
Late at night, I reflect
I would have given in
a long time ago
losing my dignity
losing my self-respect
in the process.

One should never be
a guest outstaying her welcome
this journey is a solitary quest
each step an uncharted,
undiscovered territory
but with you by my side
my love, my guide
I am certain
to find the answer
what is it all about
me, my mortal life?

Fountain of unending love
light of my life
in the darkest recesses
and forgotten corners of my mind
I see light and rainbow colours.

I wake up in the grey gloom
of an other rain soaked day
with a song in my heart - I
feel cosy and warm
clothed in oceans of love.

You paint the sky gold
and hang it with silver light
sweep away the dark clouds
from the dome of my life
you're that rare light beam
that accompanies me
on my journey to the vortex.

Travelling with you
my journey's true companion
has allayed my phantom fears
and death is an important milestone
that I need to savour and reach -
another enchantment
yet to be savoured.

You have helped me
to view mortality differently
it is another maze of mysteries
that I would pass through
until then my love
blessed am I my true one
to have your company and love
in the forever land!

Lord of my body and soul
keeper of my spirit, my only love
your footsteps keep me company -
sometimes out of loneliness
when I am feeling low
I lose my way
only to discover that
another's company is a bigger misery.

I entertained, I thought a friend
the other night
I gave him delicious food and wine
listened to his tales
of various accomplishments
his heroic deeds were
minutely told slowly all
of epic dimensions.

He said that he missed the comfort
of another person's body
next to him in bed
he missed the warmth and the touch
above all he missed sex, he said,
how wonderful it is to feel
a woman beside one he added nostalgically
and making love is heavenly,
he looked in my direction to give him
more - my body.

I thought of you then most lovingly
with reverence in my heart
I don't miss the comfort of another body
I don't miss sex - detached from me
a commodity, a dose of medicine,
a pill to take for my emotional health?
You are there always to warm my heart,
my body, my soul, myself.

You feed me, nourish me, nurture me and lead me, to make me
discriminate right from wrong,
to recognise and know pure love
when I see it and acknowledge
with tenderness and gratitude what is given true marriage of body and spirit.
You make me discriminate
right from wrong - and vow before love when I see it.

You are there to shower me
with love and compassion
for all life large or small.

The blackbird searching
for a worm on a winter wet day
is loved and cherished by you.
The dunnock picking winter berries
the sparrow taking a bath in a puddle dances and splashes, rolls around shaking his puffed wings!
It causes you much joy, my love
and I join in with you.

My solitude is truly blessed
you nourish me in body and mind
and teach me to welcome
each sodden, wet, inhospitable dawn of a chill winter's grey coat day and transform my sciatic pain.
My stiff arthritic body is
Irrigated anew with a feeling
that transcends time, transcends the body and is turned into a loving forcefield a girdle of protection circles me!

You are the one certain light
that illuminates my life
my blessed one - my teacher
and my lover - my rarest of rare friends
I sing the song of you - please keep me warm in your secure embrace I am held
most humbly I love you!

My light, my life
I am dogged by doubts
and uncertainty today
I am questioning my
generosity my openness
and ask how cheap is
friendship for some people?
How little they can give
of themselves and how large
their appetites are in comparison?

I generalise from specifics, I guess
because of my doubts I ask -
I give freely, don't expect much
in return and simple 'thank you'
will nicely do.
But when these friends don't value
my feelings or me and feel
easily attacked when I tell them
to appreciate kindness and
unconditional love that is bestowed!

I make excuses and say
perhaps it is that time of the year
when cheerless is the heart it
finds the body's larder cold and bare
perhaps they are filled with inner emptiness
and nothing will fill them - I walk away.
You call me back and lighten my burden
and give me new generosity to forgive
threadbare meanness and accept
without judgement without returns
and love.

You remind me to turn around
and look, smell the fragrance in
a cold, dim lit hallway and see
the lilies still blooming and
spreading their scent in my house
in me. They smell Spring
and someone out of loving kindness
carried them to me.
Their nature pervades the house
and overwhelms with joy and love.

The hurt is replaced with love
I must not dwell on pain
and lost causes I choose
to move on and renew and knit
the fabric of remnant of my life
in the colours that suit me
and in the style that I want.
It is so comforting to know
that you are here with me
holding my hand and you have done that
from the time began!